Why We Share Our Pronouns
Intro:
In our community, we care deeply about creating spaces where everyone feels seen, safe, and respected. One small but meaningful way we do that is by sharing our pronouns in our email signatures, social media bios, Zoom names, and everyday introductions.
Sometimes people are curious and want to learn more, so, let’s talk about it here!
What Are Pronouns and Why Do They Matter?
Pronouns like she/her, he/him, they/them, or others are the words we use to refer to someone in place of their name. Using someone’s correct pronouns is a way to affirm their identity and humanity. Getting it wrong, even unintentionally, can contribute to the ongoing harm someone else may be experiencing. Especially for trans, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people who already face high rates of erasure, invalidation, and discrimination.
I like to remind folks that when we say or do something to someone else, they are not just experiencing the one thing from us in that moment, but rather that thing we said or did in the context of what they have already been experiencing. Sure, you didn’t create the system of gendered power and oppression, or the wounds that came before, but we can do things in our power to not add to them.
Why We Share Our Pronouns (Even If We’re Not Trans or Nonbinary):
Sharing pronouns isn’t just about self-expression. It’s an act of solidarity. When cisgender people (people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth) share their pronouns, it helps normalize the practice and reduce the burden on those who are trans, nonbinary or gender-expansive to constantly advocate for themselves. It shifts the default away from assumptions.
This Practice Says:
- We don’t assume gender based on appearance.
- We respect and affirm people’s identities.
- We’re creating a safer, more welcoming environment — not just for some, but for all.
That said…
It’s Always a Choice — Not a Requirement
As the lovely folks at The Trevor Project remind us, "No one should ever be forced to share their pronouns." For some, sharing pronouns might not feel safe, due to trauma history, fear of being outed, or simply not being ready. Others may still be exploring their gender, or unsure of what language feels right. That’s okay.
We hold space for that complexity. You never need to share more than you’re ready to. In our spaces, people are invited to share pronouns, but are not expected to. Consent and agency always come first.
Our Values and Commitment:
At Mockingbird, we are committed to anti-oppressive, trauma-informed care. This means continually examining how power shows up - in our systems, language, and relationships - and our sharing of pronouns is one small step we want to take towards gender justice.
We stand with our trans, nonbinary, and gender-expansive clients, colleagues, and community members. We believe you. We support you. We’re actively working to build spaces where you can breathe and belong.
For Those Still Learning:
It’s okay if you’re new to this. What matters is having the willingness to learn. If you make a mistake, correct yourself, apologize, and allow yourself to just keep learning. We ourselves are always learning. Inclusion isn’t about perfection or call-outs. It’s about us collectively choosing to make sincere efforts for a kinder world and being willing to notice (or invite others to notice) when we could be doing more so no one person or group has to try to make that kinder world alone.
Resources for Gender-Expansive Folks (and Allies):
- Trans Lifeline – Peer support and crisis hotline for trans people, by trans people
- The Trevor Project – Crisis and support services for LGBTQ+ youth
- National Center for Transgender Equality – Policy advocacy and practical guides
- Pronouns.org – Educational resource on personal pronouns
Education Doesn’t End Here:
Pronouns are just one facet of the elements that make up a person’s relationship with their gender. Whether that person is Two-Spirited, Intersex, Nonbinary, or Transgender (or even all of the above!), their identity cannot be fully understood just by pronouns alone. If you are curious to learn more about gender identity and its relationship to gender expression, seeking out resources created by gender-diverse people is a great start.
Closing Thoughts:
Pronouns are about dignity, not political correctness. And sharing them (or choosing not to) is about honoring ourselves and others. When we make space for both sincere effort and openness to growth, we create room for real safety, real liberation, and real connection.
